silentcries:

where i have absolutely no idea what i want.
about anything.

I dont know what I want to do when I’m older.
how i want to act at school, as in whether i like mesing up or if i want to be good and just focus on my work,
Whether I’m ready for a boyfriend or not,
I suppose that doesnt really matter if i was though cause thats not gonna happen anytime soon,
I dont know whether I want to like him,
Sure, it gives me a rush, and i love basically everything about him,
But… I dont know, I know he doesnt want anymore then just friendship.
He acts like he does, but then he acts like he doesnt.
And i just end of confused.
Im not gonna ask, because to tell the honest truth, im heck scared of rejection,
And im scared he’ll get over me straight away,
Because, come on, im not a very interesting person, my main qualities are being annoying and being a bitch.
And he knows it, considering he calls me a bitch, yes just kidding around, but it is when im being a bitch to him.
so hes gonna get bored of me soon.
And this is way off topic of what i was originally typing.
Eh, i havent talked about this before, i need to get it out.
And come on, who the hell would go out with me?
I mean seriously, i act like im 3 years old with how amused i get over nothing.
I havent got any qualities that makes stand out from the crowd.
This is why i always say im not ready and dont want a boyfriend yet,
Cause i dont want to tell people the truth,
Cause theyll just deny it and say this and that.
When really, i dont know, i think i am ready.

Alright ima stop talking now. Anyone who has wasted their time reading this stupid insecurtiness doesnt need to know anything else that im feeling.